Holding The Door, Owning The Room w/ Brenna Lawrence

The wildest origin story we’ve heard starts with a liger and ends with a microphone. Brenna Lawrence—VP of Business Development at Brown & Brown, relentless networker, and newly minted TEDx speaker—joins us to unpack how she turned fear into a lever for growth, community, and real change. This isn’t a highlight reel; it’s a field guide for showing up as your whole self and still delivering results.

We dive into how Brenna treats sales as courtship—earning the next conversation by listening more than pitching, and building trust on LinkedIn through authenticity and consistency. She walks through the nuts and bolts of DisruptHR (5 minutes, 20 auto-advancing slides) and how that constraint sharpened her message. With help from mentors, she built a TEDx talk that threads mindset with mission, tackling the stigma around domestic violence and bringing resources straight to the places people will actually see them—bathrooms, break rooms, and industry events. It’s marketing with a heart: meet the audience where they are, repeat the message with care, and make help easy to reach.

We also get practical about culture and leadership. Brenna’s family motto—don’t be a dick—translates to radical candor at work: open communication, clear boundaries, and zero tolerance for energy vampires. She shares how she raises confident kids (ban negative self-talk, praise effort, ask “What do you think?”) and why she swapped the myth of balance for sway—be all-in at work, then be fully home. Her “buffalo mindset” story is worth the listen alone: face the storm, shorten the pain, grow faster. Along the way, we spotlight The Helm (a Charleston collective for executive moms), Brown & Brown’s Power of She, and Brenna’s own platform, “Hey, Hold That Door,” a call to succeed and then make room for the next woman through.

If you’re hungry for a playbook that blen

The East Cooper Student News team serves both Lucy Beckham High School and Wando High School communities. Your sponsorships will help our staff pay for field trips, competition fees, and equipment throughout the school year. Our staff publishes linear broadcast content in the form of our flagship newsmagazine East Cooper Student News, our sports talk show Rivalry Report, and announcement show Tribe Time, which serves Wando High School. 

Chapters

• 0:00 Meet Brenna Lawrence
• 4:16 Origin Story: Ligers, Love, Charleston
• 11:06 Business Development As Courtship
• 16:36 LinkedIn, Networking, and Visibility
• 23:16 Goal Setting That Scares You
• 28:46 From DisruptHR To The Red Dot
• 34:56 Finding Audience And Building A TEDx
• 42:06 Domestic Violence Advocacy And Action
• 50:46 Coaching, Mentors, And Inner Work
• 58:16 Work-Life Sway And Raising Daughters
• 1:06:26 Culture, Candor, And Not Being A Dick

Transcript

SPEAKER_01: 0:47

Welcome to the Charleston Marketing Podcast. This is Mike Compton, president of Roombo Advertising, and your president of the Charleston American Marketing Association. How are you, folks, today? I got Tom Kepler in the house. How's it going, Mike? Gosh. Got Tom again. Yeah. We could not get away from you the first time. Like a bad penny, I just keep coming around. Oh, you shine up like a dime, though. I appreciate you, Mike. We have uh Brenna Lawrence in the house today, folks, the vice president of business development for Brown and Brown Insurance.

SPEAKER_05: 1:18

Hi, guys.

SPEAKER_01: 1:19

Hi, Brennan.

SPEAKER_05: 1:20

Hi.

SPEAKER_01: 1:20

You're the first insurance person we've had on the show today. Or the day, this year. I feel very safe. Very safe.

SPEAKER_05: 1:28

What do you need? I got you.

SPEAKER_01: 1:29

How is it going in the insurance world as far as in the marketing side of things? Like, what is your job? What are you doing for Brown and Brown?

SPEAKER_05: 1:35

So my job is actually, it's funny, I was on the sales team, and a few years ago they asked me if I would do business development. And hand to God, I had never heard of that. So they told me about it. And I was like, that sounds made up. Like you want me to do the fun part of my job, and I don't have to do the parts that are, you know, like making one fix myself. Um I hate it. I hate arguing with carriers and vendors and negotiating renewals, and honestly, it's a lot of bullshit. I don't like that side of it. So um, so I ended up in business development, which is uh I get to go out, um, meet people, really make connections, open doors, and then I think of the insurance process, at least um, to get our business as like a courtship. So I'm meeting people, developing relationships, and then I connect them with the best folks on our team to uh ultimately win the business. But um, but my approach is very much uh I start with being human and then hopefully find out their pain points and then show them why our team is the best team to take care of it.

SPEAKER_01: 2:33

How are you filling your pipeline like that?

SPEAKER_05: 2:34

Like how do I fill it? Yeah. What are you doing to I mean I talk to everyone.

SPEAKER_04: 2:38

I have to do it. Like my poor husband, if we're in an elevator with someone, he's like, Don't do it, don't do it. I'm like, I have to talk to them though. Like, have it, I literally am in an elevator, like it there's gotta be an elevator.

SPEAKER_01: 2:47

Same way, Brenna. My wife hates it. I feel like Tom's similar to that too. I can't have an awkward silence. I have to be some sort of dad joke like the one I just made.

SPEAKER_05: 2:58

We never know who's gonna be anywhere. You know what I mean? Like that's why you can't be ugly to strangers. You just never know.

SPEAKER_01: 3:04

Exactly. Exactly.

SPEAKER_05: 3:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 3:06

Um, so but you're only one person, Brennan. How else are you getting out there? Like, are you doing a lot of social media? Are you doing like billboards?

SPEAKER_05: 3:13

So I I live on LinkedIn. My husband calls my LinkedIn my professional. What's your husband's name? So Jason. Hi, Jason. He's a saint. Hi, Jason, the saint. St. Jason. He's wonderful. Terrific.

SPEAKER_01: 3:23

Where is he from?

SPEAKER_05: 3:24

He's from New York. He's from St.

SPEAKER_01: 3:26

Jason of New York. Hope to have some coffee with you one day.

SPEAKER_02: 3:30

Speaking of New York, you you lived in New York, but you're not from New York. No. So I'm interested in how you made your way to Charleston. What's your origin story?

SPEAKER_05: 3:40

So years ago, like the the real truth is years ago, um, I got into a pissing contest with somebody about whether or not ligers were real, right? Okay. So stupid. A liger? Liger.

SPEAKER_02: 3:50

Breadford Skills and Magic. It's a line of a tiger. If you've ever seen Napoleon Dynamite, you're familiar with Ligers.

SPEAKER_01: 3:56

Of course, of course.

SPEAKER_02: 3:57

But how smooth you said that.

SPEAKER_05: 4:00

That was clutch.

SPEAKER_01: 4:01

That was not scripted whatsoever.

SPEAKER_05: 4:03

So um it was actually, it was my ex, and we got no piston contest. I was like, no, Ligers are real though, in real life. So this was before smartphones and things like that. So I looked it up and I found this place in Myrtle Beach where he's infamous now, right, Doc Antle. But he was like breeding tigers and lions and stuff.

SPEAKER_02: 4:21

Tiger King throwback, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Doc Antle and Myrtle Beach. The Tiger King? He's the other tiger.

SPEAKER_01: 4:27

I didn't know there was a he's a Liger King?

SPEAKER_05: 4:29

He's got Ligers. Oh my goodness.

SPEAKER_01: 4:31

So when that happened, go on, keep talking. Marketing podcast here, but that's okay.

SPEAKER_05: 4:35

What ended up happening was though, I found out that um that you could go to Doc Antle's place, right? And if you were selected, that you could go there and you could live there and raise a tiger or a liger or whatever it is. And for me, I was like, wait a second. Like I was in a terrible relationship that I was trying to get out of. And I really saw this as like, oh, this is there's no case. This is your way out. Like it was my way out. I was like, I don't have to pay to stay there.

SPEAKER_01: 5:00

Like they're gonna You were gonna be the Liger queen?

SPEAKER_05: 5:03

Right. It turns out that that was a cult, right? I didn't know that at the time that that was a cult. When I met my now husband, I was like, I I wasn't trying to date anyone, I couldn't help it. Um, and like I met him and he was just wonderful. And I was like, listen, I don't know where this is gonna go, but I'm gonna move to Myrtle Beach and rage a tiger. And he was like, What? So I told him the plan. I'm like, yeah, they they let you live there for free. You just can't leave for like two years, but like that makes sense because who's gonna take care of your tiger, right?

SPEAKER_02: 5:28

Sure, you need the continuity of care.

SPEAKER_05: 5:30

It made sense to me. Yeah, and I was like, and there's no drinking, no smoking, no drugs, no meat. He's like, What? Well, wait, I'm like, yeah, no, you can't, we don't eat our friends, right? So, like, I don't know, you just don't eat meat. I don't care if I'm not paying for dinner, I don't know.

SPEAKER_03: 5:40

Yeah, okay, keep going.

SPEAKER_05: 5:41

So he was like, Oh, that that sounds like a cult. And I'm like, you would say that, right? Right. So um so I was like, well, we'll just see what ends up happening. And then I all the way fell in love and I was like, I don't need the tigers anymore. But when that documentary came out, I looked at him like, bro, save my life.

SPEAKER_02: 5:57

Yeah, you dodged a bullet renner.

SPEAKER_05: 5:59

Like, yeah, twice.

SPEAKER_04: 6:00

Wow.

SPEAKER_05: 6:01

Wild. So um but then I know I told you you're not gonna believe it. But um, but then in the meantime, then my mom had moved to Charleston and I came to visit, and I was like, well, this seems like a nice speed, like maybe uh, you know, I'll live in Folly Beach and like live a hippie life. Um, and that that was my goal. And when Jason and I started dating, he came down to visit Charleston and he's like, Oh no, I could live here. And I was like, All right, well, let's let's make it happen, let's make it official. Like, you know, it's like we we planned out our first five-year plan. I was like, go ahead and throw a ring on it, and then we'll get married and have babies, and then we'll move to Charleston. It'd be great. Yeah, and I'll be damned if that's not what happened.

SPEAKER_02: 6:37

Fantastic. Wait, way to script it.

unknown: 6:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 6:40

I didn't know I was manifesting back then. I didn't realize it, so I'm getting better at it now.

SPEAKER_01: 6:44

The best origin story yet. We we've done origin stories like every episode. We we find out where people are from. That was the yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 6:53

Yeah, we've never had a liger on this program.

SPEAKER_01: 6:55

Yeah, so but thankfully this guy, what's his name again? We don't know the Liger King's name. Oh, it's Doc Antel.

SPEAKER_05: 7:01

I don't know if we're allowed to say that.

SPEAKER_01: 7:02

Oh, we can't say Doc.

SPEAKER_05: 7:04

I mean, are we uh is like Voldemort gonna say his name? I don't know. He's still in the news, so he is.

SPEAKER_01: 7:08

Oh yeah. Oh yeah, maybe we'll get some hits for it. Clickbait. Hashtag Branna, um, we didn't get you on the show to talk insurance. You know what I mean? Right. Um really didn't. I'm sorry. Uh as much as we do love Brown and Brown, and then you know, check him out if you need some insurance. Brown and Brown.

SPEAKER_05: 7:27

If you need something, I got a guy.

SPEAKER_01: 7:28

She's got she's got a guy, and that's her thing. That's her thing on LinkedIn. Um, what we really wanted to talk to, what I was inspired about when we did our virtual, was um, and we met through uh potential you know mutual friends and and through LinkedIn and through the community and through marketing, our marketing community, and and they said you gotta talk to Brennan, and I'm like, okay, cool. You have a TED talk, and that's what inspired me was how you got to your TED talk, not so much what your TED talk was. We'll talk about that, but more the fact that you are yourself, you're Brennan. You you you know do VP of development for an insurance, but then you also put yourself out there in front of an audience. I want to do that. I want I feel like that's in in in my near future, but I don't need to get in so you inspired me to think about more on that side of things. So I'm like, let's just have you on the show. I love that. And let's talk more about how you overcame that fear, and then we can talk, you know, obviously talk about the uh content.

SPEAKER_05: 8:31

So I guess the the way it came up for me was the when I started at Brown and Brown. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01: 8:36

Um it was Well, you started at Brown and Brown when? When did you start at Brown and Brown?

SPEAKER_05: 8:39

Uh 2018, 2019. Oh, okay. Yeah. Getting blurry because I'm getting old.

SPEAKER_01: 8:44

Well, pre-pandemic is blurry. Pre-pandemic.

SPEAKER_05: 8:48

Um well, so I I knew I wanted the job. We had I mentioned I wanted to move down here to Charleston. I was working in insurance at the time and then found Brown and Brown. Yeah, and that was actually my first long sale. So I found the operations director on LinkedIn. Okay. And I hit him up and I was like, hey, I'm gonna come and work for you. And he was first long sale.

SPEAKER_01: 9:07

Let's repeat that for the people in the back.

SPEAKER_05: 9:08

It was my first long sale. Okay. My first courtship to get business.

SPEAKER_01: 9:13

It takes a long time to get business.

SPEAKER_05: 9:14

So I I didn't realize at the time, but um I had reached out and I said, Hey, I'm gonna come and work for you. And meanwhile, I'm barely pregnant with our second, and I knew I didn't want to get on the road being pregnant and all the things. So, but I wanted to like plant the seed. So I was like, Hey, I'm gonna come work for you in like a year. And he was like, All right, weirdo. Like right? Like I didn't apply, like that's strange. And I was like, Well, you're gonna end up with a spot, so like just keep me in mind. Yeah, and then I would call him once a month. And I remember at one point he was like, What is it that you need? I was like, I just want to be relevant, I want you to remember me. And he's like, Okay. So then after I had um our second Ryan Rose, um, I called him up and I was like, Okay, let's go out to lunch. Like, bring a friend. So he brought someone from the office. I met them, and then I tell people I didn't make them hire me, but I did force them to interview me because I wouldn't leave them alone. So I was like, okay, bring somebody else. When can I come by the office? Like, let me shadow. Um smart. And then it was, I mean, it felt great. And the the big point that I was trying to do, like I was trying to avoid uh filling out an application and having like a you know, a shitty kind of history, you know. I worked in not that it was shitty, but it was I worked in food and bed my whole life, basically. I had just gotten into insurance. I was very worried about looking like a job hopper or that I didn't have um I don't have formal college education. Like I went to college, I got into college and I dropped out. Okay, where did you try to go to college? I got into all of my colleges. Of course. Um I tried to go like four times, um, but I it was a combination of being young and knowing everything and working at bars. It was twenties, man. I was a blur. I was a straight asshole that whole time. But um but the most recent college I had been to was um a community college. Sure. Before I was just like, okay, this is just I'm too busy, it's just not gonna happen. But I was a good one.

SPEAKER_01: 10:57

So do you have your master your bachelor your bachelor's now or? No. No, no, nice.

SPEAKER_05: 11:01

I'm good now. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 11:01

Do you want to ever go get because I'm thinking about getting my master's?

SPEAKER_05: 11:04

I mean, I think if it if it is directly related to what you're trying to do, then yes. But I mean, I found myself in a position like I have an uncapped income potential, so I don't need to pay to go to school if I wanted to perform surgery. I would say go to school in the US, please. Right, right, good point. You know, for me, like I'm not, but I try to be careful with my girls because I don't want to tell them you have to go to school to to do what you're gonna do, yeah, unless it's the truth.

SPEAKER_01: 11:31

No, we're just we're developing career ready kids here. Yes, you know, don't you don't have to go to college or anything like that. Just be a citizen. Yeah. I know. Um and my track is education, so that's why I'm getting my master's. But that makes sense then.

SPEAKER_05: 11:43

Yeah, that's different. Um so but the as I was saying, the big reason I went to the city.

SPEAKER_01: 11:48

So you're there doing business development for an insurance company and you and you see a TED X, how did you get inspired?

SPEAKER_05: 11:54

What did you how did you get involved with like so the reason that ended up happening was uh we set internal goals every year. Um and one of my goals, it's uh we have five, and they have to be smart goals, right?

SPEAKER_01: 12:05

So they're I like dumb goals. Not my goals.

SPEAKER_05: 12:08

That's just well um every year. I mean, I take it really seriously. Like I'm a self-proclaimed culture queen at the office, like I'm intense about it. Like I love what we have and what we do. And our our boss who won't actually let us call him the boss, he is our leader, right? And we all work together. He makes you call him leader? No, he is he is a leader, he's not our leader, but if you're on every every door.

SPEAKER_02: 12:30

Call me leader.

SPEAKER_05: 12:32

No, but like I went past his office one day, I was like, hey boss, and he literally stopped me. He's like, I'm no one's boss. We work together. And I was like, kind of a boss that you said that's a good idea.

SPEAKER_01: 12:40

That's cool. Like, oh my god, anyway, sorry. Stupid.

SPEAKER_05: 12:43

But um, but anyway, uh of the five goals, I always pick one that scares the crap out of me. Okay. Because as I was saying, I you know, I can do hard things and things like that make me better.

SPEAKER_01: 12:53

So can you talk about the other goals that you had that were less scary?

SPEAKER_05: 12:57

Yeah, well, they were they were scary to me, right? I'm afraid of needles. So one year it was um I'm gonna donate as much blood as possible. Okay, because that forces me to like be accountable. Sure. And I'm competitive, so I was like, how much can I do it?

SPEAKER_01: 13:09

And then you got tattoos.

SPEAKER_05: 13:10

I already had the tattoos. Well, but but it's like fun to get a tattoo, you know, and it's like, but at this point, plus tattoos are expensive.

SPEAKER_01: 13:18

Okay, and you're doing the world a uh a favor by getting blood.

SPEAKER_05: 13:21

I've saved at least a short bus worth of people at the end.

unknown: 13:25

Okay.

SPEAKER_05: 13:26

But um, so one year it was that one year is like I found out after you moved here, like I'm low-key afraid of bridges, so I'd be like white knuckle driving over the Ravenel. Okay. So I challenged myself to like walk the bridge with the kids as much as possible and like just immerse myself in whatever it is that I'm afraid of. So along that same time, like when I I was saying I got the job at Brown and Brown, and I was afraid that like that they were gonna find out that I didn't deserve to be there because that was the first time I had imposter syndrome. Like I'm sitting in a conference room with a bunch of guys, and frankly, most of them are a good 10 years younger than me. They were very successful, and I was like, I did it. And then I was like, shit, like what am I doing here? Here I am. Like what they're gonna find out, like I'm you know, and you just feel like you're gonna get outed. Like it was weird.

SPEAKER_01: 14:07

Yeah, that's what imposter syndrome does.

SPEAKER_05: 14:09

Oh, yeah. Well, then I discovered, I was like, oh, that I have that. And I was like, Yeah, that's that's a step. We don't live there. So like we have it, and then whatever that's making us see, and then we move forward as fast as possible. Because I don't think anyone wants to live in imposter syndrome like that blows. Right. So it does it blows, that's a technical term. It is, yeah. Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01: 14:29

We're a psychiatrist here, by the way.

SPEAKER_05: 14:31

Well, to that point, so I'm in the room and I obviously want people to look at me and when I'm speaking and be respectful, and then they would, and I was like, like it made me so nervous all of a sudden. So it was like first thing in the morning, especially on Mondays, we have our Monday morning huddle. I would be the first person at the office, I couldn't eat anything, I had sweaty hands, like I was messed. And I was like, I cannot get good at this job if I can't even talk to my peers. And like I I work my ass off to get here, so like now what am I gonna do? So a girlfriend of mine had invited me down to disrupt HR, which here in Charleston, it's downtown, it's at the American Theater. It is I need more, I need to know more about that.

SPEAKER_01: 15:08

I need to dig into Disrupt HR.

SPEAKER_05: 15:10

Here in like each place where disrupt is, someone owns the license. Yeah, in Charleston, it's put on by Catch Talent, and that's Christina Long. Oh, we talked about Shad Norma. They're boss, maybe.

SPEAKER_01: 15:21

The Mount Pleasant Build Building Business Podcast, we talked to Christina. She is a boss, she's incredible.

SPEAKER_05: 15:25

Yeah. She really is. Very cool. So they put on a legit party in the spring and in the fall, and they do disrupt down here. So I went to it and it's at the American Theater. There's a bar in the back. I had a couple beers, and I was like, Oh, this scares the crap out of me. I gotta do this. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 15:40

So give me some of that.

SPEAKER_05: 15:42

Yeah, I was with my husband and I was like, This is it. And he's like, I was like, this is my last goal for the year.

SPEAKER_00: 15:47

You're junkie in a different way.

SPEAKER_05: 15:48

In like a friendly way. Make me better one day. Yeah. Um, so then I sobered up, right, and applied. And I was I was really hoping that they weren't gonna pick me because then I could be like, I tried. And then they picked me, and I was like, shit, yeah. Right. Um But I ended up doing I I've done a lot of disrupts now. I've done about by the end of the year, it'll be a dozen.

SPEAKER_01: 16:10

What is what is so what does it entail?

SPEAKER_05: 16:12

So it's a it's a five-minute talk. You get up on stage, you have 20 slides, and the slides change every 15 seconds. So you put together your slide deck, right? Like the cool kids. Yeah. And then um and they change every 15 seconds, and you have it can't be a pitch. So you're not selling anything, you're not talking about your work, and you can't brand anything, like nothing could have brown and brown on it. But um, but I always talk about something that has to do with mindset that is applicable to work and at home because that's that's how I live. Like, do things.

SPEAKER_01: 16:42

That's your wheelhouse.

SPEAKER_05: 16:44

But then um, so I did that for a while, and then the next thing was in the meantime, the helm, which you know about is the executive mother's group here in Charleston. No, I did not know about the helm. Now we do.

SPEAKER_01: 16:55

Of course, Tom knows about the helm. Yeah. He's gentlemen.

SPEAKER_05: 16:58

Well, the helm is fantastic. Okay. So it's called the helm. It's called the helm. So it's uh basically it's a group of executive women that are running the show at the office, whether it's their own business, the department, whatever it is, and then running the show the show at home. Because most of the time moms end up kind of defaulting the show. Yeah, and which is fine. Yeah, um the host. But it ends up like women like myself are either we want to talk about the kids at work. This is how our the founder, Amy Sasakitis, who her and her husband own uh low country case and mill work. The way this came about was uh someone had actually said, Oh, Brenda, you should get to know Amy, like you'll you'll really like her. So when I first met her, I was like fangirling, like I could barely talk. Yeah. Um, and she had put up a post on LinkedIn like who would be interested in blah blah blah. And she kind of explained it where if I'm at work, I want to talk about the kids and my home life, and like there's not really an audience. And then if I'm on a play date, I want to talk about work and the things that are going on. And neither of these felt like home. So she built a table where like we all sit. So it's talking about growth pains at work and talking about a preteen daughter who is adorable, and that like you shouldn't take the obnoxious things that she says personally. Sure, right? Yeah, okay. So that came together, and while that was going on, that's how I met Tasha Connors, who is with my sister's house. She's the CEO at my sister's house, which is a domestic violence advocacy group. And we were having a one-on-one, and um, it's hard to switch off the business development. So we were talking, and towards the end of it, I was like, okay, so how can I help? Like, what can I do? And um that that ignited the TED talk. That later turned into why I focus my TED talk on what I did. But during that conversation, I learned that her husband, who is an author and a keynote speaker and an executive coach, when she when I found that out, I was like, Oh, hold on a sec, like this is what I'm doing, how do I level up? And that's when she said you have to find your audience and figure out how you're gonna serve them. And I didn't realize how important that was gonna be to me later. So I like, I was like, That sounds prolific. I'm gonna write that down. And then um, and then when I talked about her cause, I'm like, what can I do for you guys? And that's when she said, Um, you know, a major issue is that sponsors don't want to be that number one top sponsor because it's domestic violence and because of the stigma attached and all these things. And then that became my like aha moment when I was trying to put together my TED talk because the year before I had applied and I wanted to talk about neutral thinking because that was my first really like dive into mindset, and I felt like it was such a game changer for me that I was like, Oh, this will this will help everyone. Yeah, I'm gonna spread the word, and it it just didn't have enough. So in the meantime, when we were talking and I was like, Well, how can I help? And this is this is why we don't get help that we need, and I was like, Well, that's that's messed up, y'all need help. And then um, and it hit me that I was I was pissed that some people somewhere didn't want to talk about things that are that made them feel feelings, you know, it's related to domestic violence. Yeah. Well, I I like heard myself say it and I was like, Well, we don't lead with domestic violence, like who would?

SPEAKER_01: 20:03

And I was like, somebody that I was like, I wouldn't.

SPEAKER_05: 20:05

And I was like, that makes me part of the problem because I have a history of it. And that was when all these things, like it like all came together. It was wild because it made me feel like I'm doing the right thing, I'm on the right path, talking to the right people. And then when that opportunity happened, like I was like, that's I was like, I this is what it feels like to be called to do something. Like it's weird when it happens, but you're like, Well, I don't have a choice except to like do my best to make it happen.

SPEAKER_02: 20:29

Love that.

SPEAKER_05: 20:30

So that's how that happened. It was pretty crazy.

SPEAKER_02: 20:32

How did how did you go about developing your vision of the audience and the talk itself? What was that what was that process like for you?

SPEAKER_05: 20:40

So um again, I have to like go back to the helm because I had uh two of the moms that were in the helm, or at least like around those circles, as my friend LB Adams and Natalie Hoff, and they had both given TED Talks and been involved in that. So I'm all about using my resources. So I went had meetings with both of them, and I was like, coach me through the the application part because like if I can get through the initial paper applications and I can get in front of someone, I know that I can sell this. But I just like help me not put the wrong stuff in these applications because hundreds of people apply. Sure. And I wanted to just I was like, just get me in front of a human, like I will be able to do it. So um, so they both coached me and and it was interesting because their styles are very different. So, but I found it helpful that this one who they both know me. So this one was like, you should do this, this, and this, and make sure you're not forgetting the these parts of yourself, you know what I mean? Like and and pulling out that authenticity, and then Natalie would say don't don't make too many jokes, like what you're talking about is heavy. So it was a really good way for me to um to pick from what I would say was like really great advice from people who know me who give a shit. That's so different.

SPEAKER_01: 21:49

That's like the most important thing, isn't it? Yeah. Having those people to bounce ideas off of and get mentorship from and yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 21:55

Well, mentorship's huge, and there's no point asking somebody like if you ask advice from someone who doesn't give a shit, like what's the point of asking that advice?

SPEAKER_02: 22:03

Yeah, you're not gonna get advice that's of any value at all.

SPEAKER_05: 22:06

No, they could just like chaos.

SPEAKER_02: 22:08

The other thing that strikes me, you you have to have you have to have coaches and allies and people in your corner. But but in order to do that, you've got to do some inner work as well uh to to arrive at that place of authenticity. I'm interested to know what you dug into uh for for yourself, what what wells you found within yourself to power you to do this this incredibly powerful speech.

SPEAKER_05: 22:32

Um, I I appreciate that. Uh I I think what I would say is because ironically, I tried to um start up with a therapist when this was going on. Some of the people close to me were like, you probably should like pick this up. Um, because it's always good to have somebody to talk to. Uh and for the longest time, like I I'm a huge proponent of like have a bestie that doesn't suck, right? And call your bestie. So I have a standing call with Holly May Monday through Friday at 7 30. We talk every morning, literally, we answer the phone, hey bestie, hey bestie. Um, and and I always say that Holly knows the file because she's known me for more than 10 years. So like she knows all the things, um, and she's my safe place. She also gives good advice, she gives a shit. Um, so I tried to to find a new therapist, and that process was a nightmare while it was going on. And I was like, you know, I'm trying, God. Like I'm trying to do the thing and like protect my mental wellness, but like I feel like I'm getting signs that like I don't I don't need to or I I can't just focus on that right now. So I would say, um, I don't know that I would suggest for folks to to try to do what I did without getting some help because it was heavy. And there were um there were some days that I cried a lot. Like it was just hard, you know, like reliving old memories and kind of going through things and reminding myself that what I'm doing is and I say this in my TED talk is because I get to do it. Like I'm here, like I have the nerve and I'm you know, but it's not just being brave enough to say hard things in front of people, but it was it's scary because I'm not I'm not exactly on good terms with my ex. And it's not that he he knows, like I don't know, like I hope he doesn't kind of thing. Like it's it's like um it's like a haunting feeling. And people that know me are like, well, he would never show up. I was like, you have never slept next to crazy, like you don't know what that's like. Um so in that way, like that was legitimately scary that like I hope he doesn't show up, you know. Um but but the rest of it was in my mind, it was really easy because I'm looking at my little girls, like if somebody had had this conversation with me or been brave enough to have this conversation, it would have been different. Like we didn't have any um, you know, meetings in the auditorium about red flags and safety around relationships and things like that, you know. But I'm not saying to get rid of like the snakes and things that they bring in and show the kids, but like maybe talk about something else that like is important. Sure.

SPEAKER_01: 24:53

And then what does that look like? Yeah. You know, maybe you can help come up with that curriculum and what that would look like. Yeah. That conversation with the kids.

SPEAKER_05: 25:00

So what I am able to do now, thanks to um to Tasha and my sister's house, is actually we've we're putting together, I say we, it's really them, they're doing all the work. Oh, you're part of it too, I'm sure. Just the mouthpiece. But um that the idea is that people know that uh that my sister's house and groups like that are available and they're around, but it's ironic that like the people who need it that they don't think of it and that the information isn't actually readily available. So um we started talking about this about a year and a half ago, but um we're targeting certain industries. So for me and my example, I'm targeting the hospitality industry because I feel like the food and bed are my people. Um that's where I came from. And unfortunately, there's a huge instance of you know, abuse, whether it's like substance abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, like all that is going on inside that industry. So I'm trying to meet with um with leaders in those industries uh to get in front of them and to talk about this is what happened to me, this is what it looks like, this is how you can help, and this is how you can provide information for your folks because they're not all gonna come and talk to whoever's in HR, like, hey, I'm having this issue. No, you know, and when you think about it, it's not people that are like low on the totem pole only, it's not just the C-suites, like it's everyone, and anyone can have these problems. So um, I'm actually speaking at the Charleston, the CVB, they're having their quarterly round table next week. So I'm going over there, I was invited to to speak to them and tell my story and then provide resources to people. And the idea is like if you just put it everywhere, then hopefully someone who needs it can quietly get their help without um being a good idea. Surround somebody with a message.

SPEAKER_02: 26:38

I mean that's that's the key to marketing, right? And and so if we're if we're marketing an idea, it's the same fundamental concept of surround somebody with it until they realize oh that that suits me, that fits me, that that resonates with with my story, and I should take advantage of that. But until you see it three, four or five times, especially in the digital age, it's not gonna resonate that oh wow, maybe I really need this.

SPEAKER_05: 27:04

Yeah. I mean, there's there's so many little things um that can be helpful as far as getting that information somewhere. Like I saw it randomly, like, oh I guess it's not random, but I was at the the Oh, we do Ian's office. You know, you go in the bathroom, you have to pee in the thing. Um, I had no idea about that. That's yeah, okay. It's just fun being a girl, let me tell you. Okay, good enough. Like if we can do a whole freaking podcast on like how we can. We're gonna call this is bullshit.

SPEAKER_01: 27:33

Let's call this bullshit. I love it. Yeah, let's start. Oh, Rachel's in. Rachel's in. Um you're the co-host.

SPEAKER_05: 27:39

There was uh, and I'm not gonna I'm not gonna give it away, but can I be on that?

SPEAKER_01: 27:42

I don't think I can be on that. Can I? Can I?

SPEAKER_05: 27:44

Yeah, because you y'all need to be educated. Oh, good point on the stuff. Um, but there is uh there's a way that a patient can let a doctor or a nurse know if they're in an unsafe situation that is confidential. And like the first time I saw that at the OBGYNs, I was like, like I was moved because I was like, this is what we need. Like we need this. We need like phone numbers and bathrooms and things like that that are not for a good time, but you know, to get some help. Um, so things like that I think are incredibly helpful. And then the other side of that is educating people that would be advocates so that they know like good and bad things to say, you know what I mean? Like obviously calling someone out in front of everybody, like that's not helpful if you put someone on blast because they have a mark. Um, but things like and I say this in the TED talk, we don't ask questions like, well, why do you take it? Why don't you leave? Like, first of all, it is super complicated. Yeah. And it's just it's not easy for someone to just be like, all right, let me just unpack all the things. And the other side of that is when you're neck deep in it, you don't know a lot of times, and you don't realize it, you don't realize that you're in trouble. Like you really think, and speaking for myself, like I really thought if I could just be better and like you know, say the right things and do the right things, and that's because I was going through like a decade of being gaslit and like physically punished if I didn't like do something right, you know. So it's really hard to ask somebody who is like in the middle of being brainwashed, like, well, why don't you just not be brainwashed? It's like because I'm broken right now, and I may or may not know that I'm broken. So that that fuels me to help people to say, you know, this is this is what we can do for the people who may or may not realize that they need help, you know, and it's it's it's just there's not a clean cut cut and dry way to do any of it. Um so you have to like use your brain and remember that you're dealing with humans.

SPEAKER_02: 29:32

Yeah, that's really and and um there's there's a correlation here of you doing scary things, speaking up on on behalf of survivors of domestic violence, taking the stage and and delivering a speech that's both deeply personal and deeply moving, and also all the networking you do. Like all of these three things are related to you daring yourself to do things that scare the daylights out of you. I'm wondering if you can put yourself in the shoes of a of a younger version of yourself and give yourself some advice that might resonate with our audience who are maybe they're new to town, maybe they're fresh out of one of the colleges here, maybe they're go undergoing a career switch, they're doing something scary. Um, especially young women, what what advice would you give them?

SPEAKER_05: 30:23

So I I love that question. Um, and what I would say is definitely the idea of like fake it till you make it, I feel like we're not doing that anymore. So instead of faking it till you make it, we show up how we want to be and we just start living that life. So um for me, that's being authentic and recognizing that when you're authentic, you're a magnet, so people are gonna be attracted. To who you are when you're being yourself, and that's gonna put you in the best places for your success, in my opinion. Um, you have to let go of the people who are like, that's too much. It's like by all means, like go, you know what I mean? Like, if I'm too much, you know the saying, right? Go find less.

SPEAKER_03: 31:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 31:02

Like, go for it. Um, but I would say that we are we have to show up who we want to be, and we have to walk that walk every day. And then as you're doing that, then you realize you're like, this is who I am. I'm not faking it, I'm not trying to be someone else. Like, I'm showing up, I'm taking up space, and um at the same time, I'm being brave enough to fail because that's the hardest part is people like, I don't want to look stupid. It's like, okay, but what if you do? Like you, it's okay. Like everybody does like some some cringy shit. Like we all do it, like it happens. But it's like you have to forgive yourself, give yourself some grace, and move forward. And as long as you're not repeating the same like cringy mistakes, like I think it's okay. Yeah, but even if it's not, like it's also still okay. Yeah, like nothing, what what are they gonna be like? You can't come to this networking event because you're a weirdo, like you're cringe, right?

SPEAKER_02: 31:46

Yeah, I mean well, it and this reminds me too of you saying earlier in the conversation that you're a culture queen, right? And and and so you know, showing up authentically with your whole self to work, I feel like that was a big movement for corporations for a while, and there's been a considerable amount of pullback on that recently. How do corporations sort of trend proof themselves and create a culture that is inclusive, you know, to survivors of domestic violence, to to women, to people of color, to people with disabilities? How do we do that in the modern era?

SPEAKER_05: 32:24

You know, I don't that's a really hard question because um I would say my first instinct is like when I say like show up and be who you are, the caveat is don't be a dick. Like, and that's our family motto. Like Team Lawrence is don't be a dick. And our kids are eight and ten, they know they're not allowed to say it at school, they say don't be a jerk, but in real life, they're like, Don't be a dick. So that means hold the door, return the cart, like all the things, right? But it's a please and thank you. But I feel like that umbrella of like I show up how I am and I know that I'm not being a dick. So if if everybody doesn't like me, I'm a hundred percent okay with that. So I feel like on the corporate side, when you're like, well, you know, we want people to be who they are, but it's like, yeah, but if you're a dick, like if you come in and kind of if you're gonna take advantage of it and if you're gonna be the bad apple, like you're putting people in a bad place, but I feel like that's when our leaders need to be like, that's that's over the line, and you need to have constant communication and and open communication. But to that I would say I'm a huge fan of radical candor, and that's where I care enough to say the hard things. So if I want everyone to come as they are, like by all means. But if you show up and it's like a bad apple, like I don't I don't know an example to say like the way this person shows up, but it's like you cannot be an energy vampire, you can't suck the joy out of a room, like you can't do stuff like that because you're hurting everybody. Right. So I think um you need people to if you have that open communication, if you have that radical candor, then people know what's what's acceptable and what's not, you know what I mean? Like I might wear jeans on a Friday, but I'm not gonna show up in sweats just because I can do my job in sweats, like that'd be a dick move.

SPEAKER_02: 34:01

Right, right, absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 34:05

Um it's all being human, isn't it? Yeah, you know, just being human. Um growth and mindset is something that you touched on just now, too. Can you talk a little bit more about that? And it's funny, not funny, kind of comical when you because what a lot of what you're saying is a lot of what our kids are going through, and it's also a lot of what's going on on the corporate side. So it doesn't end, and it starts so young. Yeah. So the imposter syndrome starts so young. The I don't want to be uh you know laughed at starts really young uh and it doesn't end for our whole so it's it's there's a lot to unpack what I'm talking about right now, and I feel like we're you're doing that though on your Instagram and what else where else can we find you on uh YouTube? You need to do some.

SPEAKER_05: 34:57

So I actually so my video from the TED Talk is on YouTube. And then I I actually went in and and signed up or whatever, like got a YouTube page so I could share the video. Good. But if I'm being really honest, the reason that I signed up was because I was checking my video to see how many you know views I had.

SPEAKER_00: 35:15

Okay, of course.

SPEAKER_05: 35:16

Somebody's gonna do that. Yeah. Um, but somebody had commented and they commented on my language.

SPEAKER_01: 35:22

And you know, that I did say being a dick a lot or something.

SPEAKER_05: 35:25

No, like in the in the TED talk. Like I said, um, I say pissed off at one point, and I say at the end of it, put that shit down.

SPEAKER_01: 35:31

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 35:32

That's what I mean.

SPEAKER_05: 35:32

Yeah, and she was like, you know, I like you could have done it without that. And I was like, first of all, like that that's what you got from that message. Like, literally got her attention. Like, I did, but I was like, and initially I was like, hold on, let me, I'm gonna log in. I'm gonna have a piece of my mind or give her a piece of my mind. And thankfully it was um it was a kind of a pain in the ass to to register and stuff. So by the time I did, I was a little calmer, but um, but she's like, you should choose your words carefully, blah, blah, blah. So by the time I calmed down and commented, I was like, I did. And like I said what I said on purpose, and like that's what I did. Um, but I I do uh technically I'm on YouTube now, but um I have as I said before, I'm I'm on all over LinkedIn. Um I actually have like a backlog of of stuff that I'm up to that I have to like share on Instagram and on LinkedIn. My husband calls it my professional Facebook, but but it is like I much prefer LinkedIn to hearing about headaches and laundry, you know, on Facebook. That sucks. Um, but I'm all over that. I'm all over Instagram.

SPEAKER_01: 36:32

It sounds like you're normalizing that whole family work talk too on Instagram, right? Because we we hear a lot about your the kids, the stories with your kids. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 36:41

Work life integration rather than balance. Exactly. It's sort of this is this is the whole of Brennan, and this is your personal brand, regardless of what medium we're we're seeing you on.

SPEAKER_05: 36:54

Yeah. Well, it's like um I say it's like my uh I bring my girls to a lot of chamber events. I'm I'm involved with the Chamber of Commerce and I'm gonna be. And it was actually my husband, St. Jason. It was his idea. Um we were going to a disrupt one night and and I was speaking and he was like, We should bring the girls. And I was like, Well, it's not nobody brings kids. And he was like, This is like your whole thing, Brenn. And I was like, Yeah, no, you're right. So we ordered him blazers and they came and they came down to disrupt. I love this. But then I like fully embraced that, right? So like I'm a working mom, and it's part of my nonviolent protest to show up with my kids and be like, Well, who's watching your kids? Because like I'm doing all the things, so I'm showing them what it looks like to be a boss, how it works, how to interact with other people. So as a rule, like they don't have phones and things like that, you know, and and I'm gonna hold out as long as I can, but I will not be dismissed for technology in my own house. So, you know, if they're if I'm talking, I need eyes at me, not looking at the giant TVs and things like that. So I'm trying to teach them to be able to hold their own when when they're out and about. So they have to order their own food and be polite and things like that. But I mean, they're not they're not incompetent, they're just little people. So they're they have to learn all the things that they want to learn the things. Yeah, kids want to be a lot of. I'm seeing Grace, she wants her own YouTube, she's like, Can I do a disrupt? I was like, I don't see why not. Like let me talk to who I can and see how we can get you up on stage. Dig in. That's I don't see why not.

SPEAKER_01: 38:27

Yeah, we used uh AI, I forget which platform it was to create Henry's Happy Henry's YouTube channel.

SPEAKER_03: 38:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 38:34

He's nine. He wanted to do a happy Henry, he wanted to do a YouTube channel on Fortnite and other things that make him happy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 38:40

Well, see, I was I was being a smart ass because the kids I said to um the girls, I was like, well, thinking about Christmas and stuff. I was like, well, what if we go somewhere that has snow for Christmas? Like, wouldn't that be fun? And my oldest is like, yeah, we should go to Colorado. I was like, get a job, like go to Colorado, like I'm talking North Carolina, like I was gonna drive somewhere that had like a little bit of snow. Right. But like my bougie baby is like, we should go to Colorado, and I was like, You should.

SPEAKER_01: 39:03

Told her to get a job.

SPEAKER_05: 39:04

Yeah, so I was like, get a job. And she was like, I want a job, you won't give me a YouTube channel. And I was like, nope, I won't. Like, not yet. I know, not yet, exactly. The bandwidth for all that, but um, but I I might as well. She could probably teach me a couple things. I know, right?

SPEAKER_01: 39:16

Well, you're really good at and part of what my imposter syndrome is too is speaking in front of people. So that's inspiring that you overcame that. And then also seeing you I I'm having trouble talking to the to the phone, talking to the cell phone. Do you want to trick? No, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. I thought you were saying, Do you want to try now? And I'm like, No, I don't want to try now. But what's what's the trick to talking to the cell phone?

SPEAKER_05: 39:38

So, do you do you know Aaron Kenzel? The Aaron Kinsel. Of course. Did you take her thing? Oh, hell yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 39:43

She's so smart. Eric Elliott took her class, a bunch of other people I know took her class. She was uh a guest on the podcast.

SPEAKER_05: 39:49

She did she did a TED talk too. She did, of course she did, yeah. I bet. But um Have you seen her auction yet? Oh yeah, yeah. Oh yeah. She did it for she did it for my sister's house, and I like and I'm one of those like if I if I meet you, like I met Amy and I was a fan. Yeah, like same thing with Aaron, like she comes in and I like curtsy. I'm like, hi, like I don't know my name. Curtsy. Like so impressed. Um, I'm like that with Liz Ashley too. Like, I'm just so impressed with what she does. She's just a powerhouse. But with um in Aaron's class, she says to put a post-it, like you want to um, you know, do the selfie cam, but she says to put a post-it over it so that you're not looking at yourself and that you're just looking at the actual camera. Um, but your videos come out way better when you do it like that. That's just one little trip, but you have to sign up for her class to get the rest.

SPEAKER_02: 40:36

Well, yeah, people aren't seeing your eyes go back and forth between the camera and and looking at yourself.

SPEAKER_05: 40:41

Yep, you know.

SPEAKER_01: 40:41

No, it's exactly it. What what do you remember? Look up Erin Kinzel, you'll Google her Aaron Kinsel Charleston. You don't remember her class name.

SPEAKER_05: 40:49

Um, it is the video launch pad.

SPEAKER_01: 40:52

Video launchpad, that's what it is. All right, Brennan. Yep. Get yourself a friend like Brennna. I am your residential girl. That's what I do. That's all it takes, yeah. I don't mind that. Oh my gosh, we talked about a lot. Um Tom, I mean we had one.

SPEAKER_02: 41:10

Yeah, it it it just it it strikes me. I I saw your International Women's Day post on on Instagram talking to your kids about what International Women's Day means. How do you, you know, th there are a lot of our listeners who are parents of young girls, and and how do you how do you empower a little girl to be a corporate badass?

SPEAKER_05: 41:31

So I would say it's it's something that you do like all day. Yeah. So in our house, you will get in more trouble for negative self-talk than for cussing. Like just to be very frank. I mean, if they tell me to F off and we're probably gonna have words. But I'm gonna fight you real quick. Um but but for real, if they if they say anything like I'm stupid, I'm not good enough, it's like, whoa, whoa, whoa, where did you learn that? Because like I don't talk to myself like that. Like we don't talk down to or about ourselves, and there's definitely no shit talking between me and St. Jason, like we don't talk shit to each other. Um, so things like that, like I've really there's like a hard line where it's just absolutely unacceptable. We have a lot of mantras in the house, you know, when do we do what's right? And it's like all the time, every day. I'm like, whatever, like broken record, but like that's what we do. Repetition makes for better patterns and we do what's right, not what's easy. Yeah, like and there's little quizzes, like I said, you know, when do we do the right thing? It's like always. I'm like, does it matter if people are looking? It's like, no mom. I'm like, okay. It goes back to like don't be a dick, you know? Um, but as far as um how would I like coach them up? Like I I'm always something easy is if they do something, if they color something, or if they like put together an outfit, no matter what I actually think, when they come out, it's like, what do you think? I'm like, what do you think? How do you feel?

SPEAKER_03: 42:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 42:45

And then when you ask them those questions, I'm like, tell me about your picture. And then just the excitement with like this is this and this little blob, this is the dog, and blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, I think that's creative. I think it's whatever. I try to say things that are not like a qualifier as to whether or not it's good or bad.

SPEAKER_02: 43:01

Applauding the effort and the the work that went into that decision, that outfit, whatever it might be, rather than the outfit itself. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 43:08

So um, so I'm very conscious of like always trying to like be a support system without them coming to me for a thumbs up or a thumbs down, you know, because I feel like that increases their confidence. And the other part is I tell them, I'm like, where do you get your confidence? And the best is when they're like, from the girl in the mirror. I'm like, that's the girl in the mirror. And I you get it from you. And the biggest trick is that we think that like if we do well, that people clap, and that's where we get our confidence from. We're sharing our gifts and people enjoy it, but our confidence comes from our preparation, our you know, willingness to try being brave enough to fail, that's where the confidence comes from. And when someone taught me that, I was like, say no more, fam. Like, that's what I've been waiting for this whole time. So um when that happened, I was like, okay, well, if you're saying it's up to me, then like I gotta do it. It's up to me then.

SPEAKER_03: 43:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 44:00

Um, and little things like I think um, and I'll share this because I love how it turned out, but I was uh at the end of last year, the girls had a field trip, and I had promised to take them on the field trip. It was um we went to the salt marshes, I think. Um I can't remember the name of it. Not a great field trip person. Um, but anyway, there was a there was a ton of kids there. And at the end of it, they were trying to take a picture. And one of the other chaperones was um a little bit older, and she was telling all the girls, like, get the girls down in front and do the sorority squat. And as a professional college dropout, I was never in a sorority. I was kind of looking, I was looking at mine like stand up. Right. What are you doing? Like, stand up. Yeah. And then I looked at her and I I told my girls, I was like, stand up. So they stood all the way up, and I'm like, gotta go in the back, go in the back, I don't care. I was like, but we no, you're not doing that. So when they came back, they're like, Mom, what's wrong? And I was like, first of all, we're not here to shrink.

SPEAKER_03: 44:50

Yep.

SPEAKER_05: 44:50

Like, we're not. So if you are in a sorority, all right. But I mean, like, and I'm not trying to shut on sororities, like if you're in a sorority and that's like that's the vibe, then like do that. But if there's a man standing up straight, stand up straight. Like you don't need to shrink for anyone. Absolutely.

SPEAKER_01: 45:08

You know, include people in the picture, isn't that the sorority thing? Maybe, but it was triggering for me. Yeah, like I was like, we don't shrink.

SPEAKER_05: 45:16

And like, you know, I've played sports my whole life, and like now it's it's funny because um my girlfriends will be like, you're the best cheerleader. And I'm like, it's so weird to hear that because like I wasn't allowed to to be a cheerleader. It was like, if you want to be near sports, play the sports. So like that's what I did. But now it's um I've gotten over it to where I actually embrace it's like I am like your hype girl, I'm a cheerleader, I'm also the friend. It's like if you ask me my opinion, like I'm gonna tell you the truth, like you might not like it, but um, but I'm that friend, and I'm proud to be that friend.

SPEAKER_02: 45:45

You know, speaking of friends, and this is something that Mike and I talked about on the last episode that we're friends we did together. We're friends. Well, it uh of the last podcast episode we did together. Of Charleston being a a uh town of collaboration, and and you being a cheerleader sort of dovetails nicely into that. Um, there's a lot of coopetition that happens in Charleston as as I see it. Yeah. Um, you've been here 10 years. Do you see this as a collaborative town or as a competitive town? And and do you find more uh more allies or adversaries here?

SPEAKER_05: 46:20

So I would say that I think that that has to do with your perspective and like how you're running it. Because for me, it's very collaborative, but I also I don't mess with toxic people. Yeah, like whether we're blood or not, like I I do not I do not up around with toxic people. Like I don't speak to either of my own parents for separate toxic reasons. Um, and I am a huge fan of boundaries, so I think when it comes to like when you think about professional women in competition, I am a girl's girl. And I like that's that's a big deal to me. So like I am a girls' girl, I will always support you, I'll cheer for you. Like I tell people if I love you, I will clap louder than your mama. Like I really will, but I don't support like toxic people, I don't support when people are dicks, and when it comes to like the back biting and things like that, like I don't mess with it at all. So I'm very fortunate that I have the helm mamas because there's about 50 of us now. Like it has grown from there were like four or five to now it's like we're we are a proper club. That's spectacular. We have all the things, it's amazing. We're having our first summit um next, it's in two weeks, it's on the 10th. Oh, yeah. We are having our first all-day summit. We have uh female-owned marketplace, we have bomb speakers, we have uh, I mean, all the things, and like we I heard we have an awesome MC too because probably you, and super excited. Yeah, I'm gonna be able to do that. But like I know that I have this support group, so I would say that like my um my average day is it's not it doesn't suck. Like I have good people in my circles, but that's because I'm intentional with it. So um, but like on the competition side professionally, it's funny because when I'm when I'm courting a prospect and when I'm like working on it, my mindset is very different, I think, even from a lot of the guys that I work with because it's like, well, who's their broker? And I'm like, nah, not gonna work here much longer. I don't know their name, I don't care. Like, I'm gonna get them fired. Like, that's my my job is to get Brown and Brown hired and to get the other guy fired. So I don't focus on that. Like, I spend my brain power on that that person that I'm trying to get to know. Like, what do they care about? What's their family dynamic? What are they interested in that I can invite them to and like make them a part of my circles because whether or not I get the business in the first 60 days or if it's gonna be a couple years, like let me build that connection because in the meantime, like I'm helping myself, I'm helping my visibility and things like that. So um, I am highly competitive, but I don't get bogged down in the weeds, like, well, how long do they have a broker and blah blah blah? I'm like, I don't care.

SPEAKER_02: 48:49

Like, not that's looking at that long sale view, like you were talking about at the beginning of the interview of like this is about relationship building over time. It's not about quick sales and crickets or stabbing somebody in the back. It's about building a relationship that's durable over time. And when they have to make a decision about who their insurance provider is, they'll think of you because you've been there for them.

SPEAKER_05: 49:10

That's exactly what it is. And like when we get, I think the we're starting to get more young women on the team, um, which is really exciting. Uh, we had two girls that were interns that graduated that come back and they're working for us now. Um, but I have said in the past, because we've had a lot a lot of young men come on and join the sales team, and as the only girl for a long time now, as I said, there's several of us, but I'll tell them, I'm like, guys, this is a courtship, right? So, like your first meeting, like that's the first date. You work hard to get the girl out on that first date, right? But like, let's be real, like, you don't want to go home with that girl that night. Because if she goes home with you, she'll go home with somebody else. Like, that's not an ideal partnership. Like, I'm just being honest, because I'm talking to guys that just got out of college and I'm like, Yeah, you gotta hear me. Like, you want every date, you want to have a reason to have another date and another touch point. But if you talk about yourself the whole time and you don't learn anything about them, they don't want to hang out with you anymore. So, like for me, that means like we don't focus on price, we don't focus on things like that. Like, we focus on like, do they think of me when something comes up? Like that, that for me is a win. Yep. So if I have a prospect that's like, oh hey, Brennan, I thought of you, blah, blah, blah. I was like, I'm in your head. I love that. Because that's my job. But it's also it's my pleasure because I'm attracting people that that I get along with and it's it's just enjoyable. So even if we don't do business together, we can go to functions here in Charleston and and I'm enjoying being around other humans that don't suck, which is like a pretty good way to spend your time. I mean, it could be worse, you know. I'm very fortunate. I'm not I'm not chained to a desk. I think I'm very spoiled now. I don't think I could work at my desk all day, all week. I I just wither and die. Yeah. It would not be good for me.

SPEAKER_01: 50:44

Well, we don't want that. No, Brennan. We don't we we we need you. We need you to keep talking about that, you know, and spreading that uh spreading the love, you know, uh teaching your kids how to be uh not shitty humans. Yeah, you know, to be good humans.

SPEAKER_05: 50:57

I wish more people would.

SPEAKER_01: 50:58

That's that's the whole thing. That's what we all need. It's uh it's like a social responsibility to you know create these humans and and to teach and educate as as we all come up, um, because the world sucks right now, to be honest. It's a little hairy. Well, you know, there's some things in the news recently that that today's a little hot, right? So um my kids go to Catholic school and they're eight and ten. So Catholic school. Yeah, and they're eight and ten. This week was hard. Holy shh, Nikes. That's scary. Yep. Uh we watched the news this real quick, and Craig made Craig Cry, I cry, type of thing. Like, you know, Craig from uh uh NBC, NBC News, the host next to Savannah. Craig, what's his name? He's from he's from South Carolina. He's from South Carolina. He choked out this morning. Yeah, and if he's choked, I'm crying for sure. Anyhow, um, we just need society and people to grow as humans and and develop authentic people like you're doing.

SPEAKER_05: 51:53

So I tell my girls like you're you're allowed to feel how you want to feel, you know, because they get mad and like, well, I'm blah blah blah. I'm like, you're allowed to feel however you want. You are not allowed to be disrespectful, you're not allowed to like treat me in a way. Right. Like you have to feel your feelings, like you're entitled to that. Like you can't shit on people because you're feeling in a way.

SPEAKER_01: 52:09

Exactly, exactly. And and to my point earlier, it's it goes all the way up to the twenties, you're young adults, and then it goes all the way up to the boardroom when when you make that uh Brown and Brown insurance interview work for you after a long sale. Yeah. That I think that just sums the whole thing up right now. It's still done, but um, but I really appreciate you coming on the show and showing your story. And I said sharing your story. These teeth are getting on my nerves. This slur brought to you by High Tide Orthodonnet. I got trays on still. Um pretty well with it. Thank you. You heard me? Yeah. This time I was better. Yeah. In the boardroom, you couldn't hear me in the boardroom.

SPEAKER_05: 52:51

I could I I can hear you even better in here than in the boardroom. Acoustics are fantastic.

SPEAKER_01: 52:55

Right, right. Uh speaking of that, Tom, good work. Thank you. Do you have any other questions? You're so poetic with your questions, Tom. This is only a second time co-hosting with us. Yeah, I've got to break it back.

SPEAKER_02: 53:10

Yeah, exactly. Very pleased to be here uh in these beautiful studios. Yeah. I I've got one question for you, just to sum up things. You you are a uh corporate badass, you're a mom, you're a public speaker. Stephen Covey always talks about uh the the seventh habit of highly effective people is to sharpen the saw, right? So what do you do to sharpen the saw? To to stay tuned in, plugged in, keep filling that cup from which you can share with others.

SPEAKER_05: 53:38

Um you mean like professionally or in dungeon?

SPEAKER_02: 53:41

Personally, you know, what what do you do in your downtime to make sure that when you when you turn the switch back on it it powers up?

SPEAKER_05: 53:50

So I think um actually this is very recent that I've and it it almost came up before and we didn't talk about it, but I uh as a busy working mom, I think a lot of us are are trying to chase a balance. And Amy from Low Country Case Milwaukee from the Helm, she actually gave us all um a book called Power Moms last year. So I would listen to it at the gym, and it was about women, you know, in the 70s, 80s, and 90s, and that they were in high power positions and what they were going through being working moms in spaces where it like wasn't really not accepted, but just you know, if you have a baby, it's like hurry up and get back to work. And the idea It wasn't accepted though. It wasn't accepted. I mean, the idea of like having a baby and being back to work in less than nine weeks is insane to me. Like your your body has gone through too much, like it's crazy. But the one of the biggest things that I took away from that was um was sway. So instead of trying to chase the balance, because for me it felt like I was chasing my tail every day because I am my own worst critic. At the end of the day, it's like, well, I could have done this better, I could have done that, like why didn't I do this? Why did I eat short with the kids? So instead, a sway, which is my word of the year, I have it on the name necklace, um, is if I'm at work, I am 100% tuned in and I'm like locked in right here at work. And if I'm home, then it's just home. And for a while, I was trying, I'd like to work and then I have to leave early to pick up the kids. So then I'm like kind of working, kind of dealing with the kids between, you know, like three and five.

SPEAKER_03: 55:14

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_05: 55:15

And as a result, I was like kind of not doing a great job at either because I was not really feel like that sometimes too, right? You know, when you're like economic couch, yeah, yeah, like I'm not, I'm not scrolling like I'm working. Right. My husband's like, yeah, you're working. I'm like, I'm on LinkedIn, I'm gonna make money, blah, blah, blah. Like I'm working, I swear. But um, as of recently, I'm like, you know what? I just need to, I need to be more intentional with it. So if I come home, if I have to pick up the kids early or whatever, you know, I close the laptop and I'm just mom and I'm just focused on that. And I'm kind of I realized that I was trying to like outrun things that were irritating me instead of facing it. And years ago, I heard the story about um the cows in the buffalo. Do you guys know the story with the Ohio Cow and Buffalo?

SPEAKER_01: 55:55

No, I don't know the story. Damn it, Mike. Seconded.

SPEAKER_05: 55:59

So like on the plains, right? Wherever wherever the cows and the buffalo all live, but somewhere it's probably near Colorado, right? I don't know, somewhere where it's far. Um, but when the storm comes over the plains, the cows will try to outrun the storm. And inevitably, the cows are in the storm longer because the storm's moving and the cows, the the cows is chasing them. I can see. But a buffalo will face the storm so the storm passes over the buffalo quicker. And the first time I heard that, I was like, oh, that's my jam. So I had buffalo crap all over my office, right? Like big buffalo. Cool. But then I forgot. And then I was like, I forgot to be a buffalo.

SPEAKER_01: 56:32

Oh, you forgot to be the buffalo.

SPEAKER_05: 56:34

And I was a cow and I was like, moo! And I was like in the rain, and and it like hit me, and I was like, why am I not using my superpower on my family? Yeah. And on St. Jason, like, you know, because he was he works for the railroad, like he works his ass off all day. And there's no point in both of us trying to outrun like what's for dinner. Like you have to make dinner, you know what I mean? So I've been much more intentional as of lately to uh to just kind of embrace. I don't want to say embrace the suck, but it's like embrace the thing that is stressing you out. Um, but that's been it's actually made me even more effective, like in a crazy way. Like all it really in the last couple of weeks, I was like, I have so many opportunities now and like connections and meetings with people that it it's like they fell in my lap, but it's because I was tuned in here and then giving myself grace to be tuned in here. Yep, but my working time was so much more effective than it had been.

SPEAKER_02: 57:29

I I worked with a guy once upon a time who had a poster up in his uh in his cubicle that said monotasking. And and initially when I saw it, I was like, that's a bunch of phooey.

SPEAKER_01: 57:41

Easy now, don't be cussing.

SPEAKER_02: 57:44

Take it easy. But it's it's exactly what you're talking about. It's focusing on that one task at a time rather than trying to do 15 at in any given moment. And you're so much more effective if you can just monotask.

SPEAKER_03: 57:57

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 57:58

It's like my husband tries to tell me it's like you're doing too many things at once. You know, like you're trying to throw laundry in and make dinner and do this, and I'm like, I'm doing all the things. But it's like just do one thing, 100%, and then move on to the network.

SPEAKER_01: 58:14

Right? What a cool job that would be, though, huh? Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_05: 58:17

I see, I mean, he I think he enjoys it. He could not, um, he couldn't work in corporate America, I don't think. And he'll come home and tell me he's like, You're soft now, because the way the way we talk at work, like he could never handle it. I'm like, I'll throw down with you guys like all day. But like y'all aren't gonna end up in HR, and I will. So good point. But he's uh he he's a great dude.

SPEAKER_01: 58:38

He's my favorite person. That's great. I'm the same though, um, where I'm just yeah, all the things. Like, uh this is like a therapy session for me, to be honest with you. I'm listening to both of you guys.

SPEAKER_05: 58:48

I think most of the pressure that we put on ourselves is really like from us. So it's like, why? Yeah, nobody gives a fuck. I'm saying are you gonna ground yourself? Like what are you gonna like? Are you in trouble? Like you're not gonna be in trouble. Like just do just do one thing at a time and don't hate your life.

SPEAKER_02: 59:02

Right. It originates with the self-talk, you know, just like you're you're you're saying, you know, that's that's an important thing at home and it's an important thing at work. You're not gonna be able to accomplish something if you tell yourself that you're terrible at your job. Or that you're an imposter.

SPEAKER_05: 59:17

Yep. And it's um, I'm I'm fortunate. Brian and Brown is we have uh internal groups, they're called uh teammate resource groups, TRGs, and we have one for women. It's called the power of she. Um, I'm involved with that. I'm actually speaking on an internal meeting about challenging fears in public speaking. Um you don't know anything about that.

SPEAKER_01: 59:35

Why would you talk about that?

unknown: 59:36

Exactly.

SPEAKER_05: 59:36

I'm like, if I can do it, you can do it. Um but we have uh a mentor program, and I signed up. I wanted a mentor and I wanted to be a mentor, and there's so many people involved in it. I ended up with a mentee, and and it is fabulous. Like, I mean, I I adore her. I think she's a powerhouse. I love talking to her. And I've learned that I get so much out of being a mentor for someone, especially when you have somebody that's like that has such a uh incredible future, like it's undefined and it's all the things. So that has led to I actually have external mentees now, which is was like the best ask I'd ever gotten. Someone was like, is it okay if I send so-and-so that I work with to you to be a mentor or for you know me to be their mentor? And I was like, Yeah, hell yeah, that's awesome. Like somebody wants wants my pep talk for an hour, like, hell yeah, I would love that. And um, and something that I'll I really just want them to tell me what's going on, and then I'm I'm there to like be a friend, be a bestie, right? And encourage them. But I do take the chance to like when they're saying certain things, I'm like, what I would love for you is instead of disqualifying yourself in your statement, just say the thing. Like, don't say, like, if you think it's okay. Okay, if this makes sense, I'm like about say the thing and then and then shut up. Yeah. Because that's one thing we learned in training at Brown and Brown. Like there is so much power in the silence. So don't don't disqualify before you make your ask. Like just ask the thing and then shut up. And then the first person that talks loses, right?

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:05

So it's turned into a business development one-on-one podcast.

SPEAKER_02: 1:01:09

So how do people find you on the web and experience your personal brand?

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:14

And helm and all the organizations. I want to share it all.

SPEAKER_05: 1:01:17

So I am definitely on LinkedIn.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:20

Massively.

SPEAKER_05: 1:01:21

Massively. Like I live there and I love it. And then I'm on Instagram at hey hold that door.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:27

Hey hold that door. That's right. I wanted to talk about that. I love that idea. Well talk about hey, hold your door real quick. So um where'd that come from and what it's it all about?

SPEAKER_05: 1:01:36

So someone I work with had suggested about a year ago that I do a podcast. And I'm technically a millennial, but I'm an elder millennial.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:45

You're millennial like me. I'm 78.

SPEAKER_05: 1:01:47

I'm 81.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:48

You're as millennial, then. 172. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05: 1:01:50

So yeah, I was like, I don't I don't want to be a little bit more than a little bit.

SPEAKER_01: 1:01:52

Oh sorry, I'm saying around millennial. What am I saying?

SPEAKER_02: 1:01:56

Elder millennial, Xennial, they're the same thing. It's blend of Gen X and millennial. Exactly.

SPEAKER_05: 1:02:00

Well, when when my husband's like, you're millennial, I was like, well, I identify as a Gen Xer, and he's like, that's the most millennial shit you could have said. Well indeed. He is that he's 1980, so he's a Gen Xer. Okay, yeah. Um, but uh barely, right? That's what I said. Because I'm gonna he can listen to this, but he's like, whatever. He'll be like, F you guys, I'm a Gen Xer. But um what oh, so somebody has suggested that I do a podcast. Yeah, and I was like, do I have to like pay to do that? Like, what is that? Like I hadn't. I just like free radio. Like, how does all that work? Um, but then I I put that on my goals because I was like, that's scary. I should do that. Um, so I this is a very formal setup. I just grip it and rip it at home. Like I, you know, film it on my phone, send it to the laptop, and then I just recorded little 15-minute smart. They're kind of like long pep talks. Um, but I have the the same name. It's hey, hold that door, it's on Spotify. Then I'm hey, hold that door on LinkedIn. And that comes from like our family motto, don't be a dick, right? So it's like, hey, hold that door. Like I'm coming through the door, right? So like hold the door for the person behind you. And then specifically for women, as we get into spaces that we haven't been in that maybe we're not welcome in yet, like hold the door for the next one. Because that's like the the biggest, my biggest gripe with with women in corporate America or whatever it is, is like I want to work for a woman who wants to help me and not like in a self-serving way. I just want to work with a woman who sees my grit and my determination and wants to reward that, right? And seeing women who are cutthroat specifically with other women, like there's room for more than one at the table, you know. Um so that's that's really like that driver there is like I want to get into a position where I can help other people that I think will make the team better and stronger. So I bet that's like all this overlapping branding stuff that I'm trying to do with like raising ass kickers that are kind and being brave enough to fail and caring enough to say the hard things. Like that's beautiful. That's what we're trying to do.

SPEAKER_02: 1:03:56

How do people find out about Helm and TEDx Charleston?

SPEAKER_05: 1:03:59

Um, so TEDx Charleston is actually that I'm glad that you brought that up because I'm working with them again this year. So we are looking for repeat sponsors, new sponsors, things like that. Um, so you can definitely reach out to me about that. Um, all things with TEDx, I can connect you to who you need to talk to. And then as far as the helm goes, 100% hit me up because I am the resonant hype girl for the helm. Like I'm a huge fan. I've seen it do amazing things. So if you're interested in that, um definitely come and talk to me. We have all of our meetings are down at the Harbor Club, which there are worse places to spend your time. You bet. Like the Harbor Club is faggot. Oh, I love beautiful houses. Love it. Um so all of our meetings are there. We do coffee meetings, luncheons, and happy hours. So we move them around so that if people can't make a certain time of day, hopefully they can meet the other ones. But um, but our programming is is spot on. Like it's so good.

SPEAKER_01: 1:04:50

I know a few women that if you that are not in your helm already need to be in your helm.

SPEAKER_05: 1:04:54

And it's amazing how many women will literally explain what's missing in their life. And I'm like, I got it. Like we have it. Right. And like you would love to sit with us. Like it's a it's a really good space. And um, and for the women who who really love it, it is like it just makes them blossom. Like it's incredible.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:12

Is there a dot com? Or no?

SPEAKER_05: 1:05:14

Is there a um it's uh I think if you Google the Helm Collective, um, I wish that I had that together before I came in, but it's um Chief Matriarch, I think is um is what the website is what it pops up as but internet webs right now.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:27

The helm. The helm Charleston. Does anybody else have trouble spelling Charleston? I always have trouble spelling Charleston. Just you, Mike. I think that's like the older. That's not it.

SPEAKER_05: 1:05:39

I think it's uh this one.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:41

This one here? Yeah, because that's the two ladies smiling.

SPEAKER_05: 1:05:43

That's me and Amy. We're playing in the summit.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:47

That's great. So it's yeah, at helm charleston is the Instagram.

SPEAKER_03: 1:05:52

Yep.

SPEAKER_01: 1:05:53

Uh so uh that's great. Very cool. Let's spread the love, get the word out there. Thanks for your time. Oh, thank you guys. I appreciate it so much. I had a good time. Tom didn't like it. I don't think he had a good time. I loved every last bit of it, Brennan. Don't let him tell you I'm live. Um thanks, Tom. Appreciate you. My pleasure. Thanks, Mike. Uh thank you, Renna. Thank you to the Charleston Media Solutions. Thank you, Matthew Miracle Chase, for the sound engineering. I better sound perfect. Um this is Mike Compton signing off. Thanks, y'all.